gpoyw. not a great day, but i am home now and ready to get in bed and make myself feel better. my ruffley dress got all kinds of compliments today. dear boy from work, i still totally have a crush on you. come do something about this.

gpoyw. not a great day, but i am home now and ready to get in bed and make myself feel better. my ruffley dress got all kinds of compliments today.

dear boy from work, i still totally have a crush on you. come do something about this.

whendreaming:

clingtomymouth:

“It’s funny how when you finally get over someone, you start seeing them in a whole new perspective. It’s like you’re looking at them through the eyes of your best friend, and you realize, he’s nothing special. He’s just another ordinary boy.”

— (via runawaytrain)

please

please don’t be gay

please don’t be gay

please don’t be gay

please don’t be in a monogamous relationship

please don’t be in a monogamous relationship

please don’t be in a monogamous relationship

…I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU. let’s fall in love. or at least have a ton of hot sex.

addendum: those two options are not mutually exclusive.

i got soul but i'm not a soldier

today i decided to brave the smoke joint, our favorite restaurant as a couple. so i went, and sat and ate by myself while they played christmas music. when they changed the cd, i breathed a sigh of relief; only to hear the first cd we ever had sex to, so that was awesome.

then my commute home took an extra half hour because some bitch on the 3 had to go and get arrested.

it took the rest of my commute to realize that things are still awesome. i surprisingly enjoy having three jobs, and i have been more grateful lately for everything i’ve experienced. …wow that is both vague and gay.

the point is that i am really happy i was never pretty or rich or cool growing up, because it taught me not only how to survive in the real world relying only on my character, but also gave me the foresight to see past all of that other useless shallow shit. and i am grateful that i really hated school so that i could run away for a bit and realize that it’s just something i’m good at, and need in life. so now i know what i should take from it and gtfo. and i am really happy that i have never really experienced love with a man because i would like to first experience it with myself. so. yeah. check, please.

i swoon.

  • me: some guy on the phone just told me i'm "cute as a button." WHY is that a thing with people?! i don't even get it. buttons are not the cutest. they should change it. i'm going to tell people they're "cute as a gerbil."
  • my boss: that sounds weird. and if you ask me, the button's got nothing on you.
    • Instruction in sex is as important as instruction in food; yet not only are our adolescents not taught the physiology of sex, but never warned that the strongest sexual attraction may exist between persons so incompatible in tastes and capacities that they could not endure living together for a week much less a lifetime ― George Bernard Shaw, Everybody’s Political What’s What, 1944 (via art-or-porn) (via quickienewyork)
    his ability to come and go undetected should have been warning enough.

    i woke up and he wasn’t there. usually i can feel it when he leaves the bed and i can tell by what he does for the first few seconds whether he’ll be back soon. but not that day. i woke up and he was gone and i couldn’t believe that i didn’t feel him slide out from the sheets, so i got out of bed and pulled on a shirt and wandered around. brushed my teeth and thought maybe he was mad at me for what i said the night before. he must have known i was kidding. we were rarely ever serious with each other, except when we were out to hurt.

    checked the fridge for food. i wanted a bagel so badly, but no dice. everything else seemed unappealing, but i took the orange juice out anyway and read it’s label. the back of my leg felt itchy and so i lifted my other foot and scratched it with my toe. i stood there, between the fridge and it’s door, standing on one foot in his shirt and my underwear, squinting to find the expiration date because i didn’t have my glasses.

    “i like this outfit you’ve got going on.”

    i turned to find him leaning in the door jamb with a half smile like a fucking shithead. he held up a paper bag and said, “i thought you’d still be asleep when i got back. i brought bagels.” and i couldn’t help but glow.

    his name is... the office reruns & a bottle of wine.

  • my grandmother called me last night in the middle of dinner, long distance, all the way from the philippines. i hadn't spoken to her in a very, very, long time, and i thought she would want a life update or have my father available for a chat. boy, was i wrong.
  • me: hi grandma, it's so nice to hear from you, it's been so long.
  • g: yes, i miss you! what's his name?
  • me: whose name?
  • g: your boyfriend!
  • me: oh, grandma, i don't have a boyfriend.
  • g: it's ok for you to have a boyfriend, if you want one.
  • me: no, grandma, i don't have a boyfriend because i don't want a boyfriend.
  • g: you don't have to feel embarrassed.
  • me: ok, grandma. i don't feel embarrassed. i don't want a boyfriend. how are you?
  • g: i'm good--you'll find the right man one day, you just haven't yet.
  • me: ok, you're breaking up, i gotta go.
    • My Theory of Literature Paper, as a three-line performance piece

    fresher-meat:

    -curtain-

    Beauvoir: Cut off your breasts.

    Wittig: My breasts do not feed babies.

    Butler: Why are you calling these “breasts”?

    -end scene-

    well that could get awkward

    i use a separate browser for my porn, but today i figured i’d use it to watch the office and 30 rock so that i could still be on facebook and double fist browsers. i don’t know it seemed like a good idea, okay? except instead of typing nbc.com i immediately started typing in a porn site. muscle memory, i guess. i am really classy.

    bullseye. cept i just wear’em anyway and strut around like a hussy.

    bullseye. cept i just wear’em anyway and strut around like a hussy.

    gpoyw. as soon as my boss came in this morning, he took one look at me, shook his head and said, “i always love it when you wear that dress.” and then hustled into his office without looking at me again or giving me a chance to speak. the holiday party is gonna be a shitshow.

    gpoyw. as soon as my boss came in this morning, he took one look at me, shook his head and said, “i always love it when you wear that dress.” and then hustled into his office without looking at me again or giving me a chance to speak.

    the holiday party is gonna be a shitshow.

    Making Friends With Heartbreak (Shambhala Sun)

    (via recklessmelancholy)

    the winter magic

    this time of year has always been amazing for me. from now until christmas is supposed to be the happiest i feel all year.

    around this time last year i was at my house’s annual winter cocktail and it was so full of magic. i was with my best friends and we were so happy. there was this boy who i liked more than anything before, i felt on-track with things, i hadn’t failed any classes, and i was so in love with everything.

    i drank mixed drinks and smoked cigarettes in the snow and learned how to make those really big 3-d snowflakes and danced like crazy and fell asleep with someone sweet.

    today i was in the office and saw that someone tried to put up christmas decorations, and i felt all warm inside remembering how much i love this season. i offered to make the big snowflakes since i was early and thought i could get it done before work started. so i started cutting paper and then my boss gave me things to read and study. i began to read while still cutting—i was focused on the material, the snowflake was just something my hands were doing.

    and then my boss called me into his office and asked, “what is the shakespeare teaches program?” and i had no idea what he was talking about, so i said, “i have no idea.” and then he said, “well if i give you something to read, you should read it instead of making christmas ornaments.” my eyes sunk and my face turned red and i walked back to my desk and began reading immediately.

    the “shakespeare teaches” program was not in the material he gave me… it was in some other brochure i had to get downstairs. when he excused me for my break, i crumpled up the snowflake and shoved it in my bag. after work, i came home and tried to save it by flattening it out on my desk.

    i don’t believe in much, but i believe in this season.

    come on winter magic, i’ll forgive you if you’re late. i still believe.

    [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

    broken social scene: swimmers

    it’s the most magical time of the year! i woke up filled with hope and nostalgia and some timidity. last night i hung out with an ex, and it was really nice. we were together for the first snow.

    ex: holy crap, holy crap, it’s snowing.
    me: what do we do? should we run around and try to catch it? is that a thing people do?
    ex: YES. only i will punch all the snowflakes that try to land in your mouth.
    me: HA. i am not going to run around trying to catch snow in my mouth. not in brooklyn, anyway.
    ex: yeah, you’re right. plus i’ll just keep thinking about your cumshot face.

    …i think i will always be fond of the boys i have let in my heart. all two of them.

    please please december, be good to me. we’ve always gotten on so well.


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